The Specialist 2

Red eyed and stubbled he leaned me towards the screen
Showing carefully what he had seen-
Light grey blobs invading my pancreas
and scattered on my liver
Unwanted detritus.

Cautious, he weighs his words.

"One thing is good - the pancreatic mass is easy to access.
We can do laparoscopic surgery on that."

We smile.  Encouraged.

But  - always a "but"-

"The tumour may be of a certain type
That we will not excise because it is
Too virulent - no point."

We protest.  "It is worth it" we say.
But his face is solemn now
and closed.

"Liver biopsy will tell us."

Another wait to get my turn for that.
12 days of my shortened life
ticking away.
Patience is key.

But now I feel OK.  Make the best of this
and enjoy the day.

Morning Walk

Shaft of sun pierces the trees.
Ray of hope.

Leaves tremble in the cool breeze and
A lone red Maple harbingers Fall.

Other-worldly birdsong
spills forth
and fills the silent wood.

The bound heart bursts
with joy.

The Specialist

Waiting ---waiting

Nausea clouds judgement
but lemon juice and curcumin
temporarily restore sanity.

waiting -- waiting

Tomorrow is the day
when I see the Expert
who may pronounce a stay
of execution.

I pray
He is merciful.

Waiting -- waiting.