as they urge me to be grateful for the life I have.
Tired of trying to live up to expectations
Today I give in to dismay.
I sit waiting for the sentence.
For three weeks now I have been waiting -
like a Hitchcock novel
I am laced with suspense.
A lump of crippled uninspired clay
I still hope to be remodelled by a genius
Who can breathe life into this damaged mound
and on my execution force a stay.
Sometimes I cannot help thinking
The hopeful stories we tell ourselves are lies.
When I overcame each of life's many challenges
I did not look for this as the prize.
However
Self pity is not attractive or even permitted
"She fought the cancer bravely" is the favoured phrase.
So I will fight back the gloom
And let the sun shine through.
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